For the last year and a half I’ve been maintaining a daily meditation practice with the help of the headspace app. I have completed a variety of courses on such topics as Balance, Focus, Acceptance, Anxiety and Creativity to name a few. The most recent course is all about Generosity and how to nurture a generous feeling for both yourself and others in everyday life. The common thread across all of these courses is that humans are naturally creative and accepting beings brimming with vitality. Our upbringing and very biology itself often create obstacles that make it challenging to fully realize this fact in its entirety. And while for some people especially those with neurological disorders this might be extremely challenging to achieve, I believe the majority of us are ability to learn, unlearn and relearn the necessary behaviors if we become committed to bringing more conscious awareness into all aspects of our experience.
Over the last 18 months this daily practice, combined with some other key behavioral changes including daily exercise, healthy diet, reading and journaling, high quality content and media selection, as well as environmental factors such as where I live and who I choose to surround myself with, has had a profound impact on my thought processes. My ability to observe my own thoughts and intercept old patterns before they lead to self sabotaging behavior and addictive tendencies is stronger than ever. Beyond just avoiding these pitfalls and setbacks which used to derail me for months or years, I am experiencing a marked increase at turning each observation into an opportunity for personal growth by forging new neural pathways that lead me towards more healthy behavior and joyful experience, ultimately resulting in a deeper understanding of myself and the world around me.
I’m not going to say this period of my life has been a non-stop giggle fest, and there’s certainly been some really rough portions when having close friends and family to share with has been crucial, but at the very least I can give myself credit for not falling back into old crutches that plagued my younger years. Indulgences such as overeating, excessive drinking, smoking, drugs and one night stands that used to be such great distractions no longer hold the same power as they once did. I’m not going to say that I’m a saint, and once in awhile I still revisit these things but I’m aware they no longer hold the same attraction than they once did. I’m on a mission, and while I’m not exactly sure where it’s going, I’m grateful to be learning to sit with discomfort as I navigate the discrepancy between the real and the ideal. This is the practice of grace between states, a skill that I wish I’d learned many years ago. With each step along this path I’m patiently peeling away layers that I built as a protection from the world but that inadvertently left me feeling disconnected from my true nature. As I shed this armor I am revealing a calm, creative and bright essence at the core my being. An essence that has always been there, peeking out from time to time and patiently waiting for me to let it be revealed once again in its fullness.
In order to bring light into our shadows, we must first face our shadows. By facing our shadows we begin to erode the concept of duality itself. Light and dark intertwine as we learn to dance with the fullness of who we are. Only when we master this deep understanding can we can express our purest nature to the world and step into our divine creative power… and I can’t think of a more important project at a more important time <3